The MEEEEEDIA

The Media... wow... in the old days, you could call them the press, or even journalists. Today, hardly a dozen reputable journalists exist. Why? Because of money. Because ratings = money, and bullshit = ratings. (therefore, bullshit = money). Sounds like an easy job, huh? I'd love to get paid for making up nonsensical bullshit all day and presenting it as the upmost important thing my audience will ever hear or read.

I was in the tire shop today, and, like 90 percent of waiting rooms and business lobbies I visit today, they were proudly displaying the FOX "NEWS" station in their waiting room. So, at a random time of day, with no agenda or plans of writing an essay criticizing their b.s. later that day, I watched...

I watched for an hour as the "journalists" pandered around, cutting from one "reporter" to the next, all covering a "story" on a little girl that had "vanished".
Without one credible source, they took turns GUESSING which involved party was responsible for the girl's disappearance. One said that the mother was to blame. One reporter had, on good authority, that the father-in-law was to blame. I listened as the grandmother of the girl called into the television station to explain that it was the babysitter's fault. A babysitter that no other person has ever seen or heard of.

I thought to myself, "I could use some media attention; maybe I should invent a story that's so absurdly crude that only FOX "NEWS" would air, and I can do it all without a fear of them even researching my story!. The most respected 'news' station on television... it's a freaking TMZ episode...

I couldn't take it anymore, so I went outside for a cigarette. Upon returning home, I turned on my over the air, rabbit ear reception, television (without the great Fox 'news' network) and listened as my local newscasters fed me with my nightly depression and fear...